Never hate the sinners, but only the sins
Hazrat Arib Billah Hakeem Akhtar (Damat barakatuhum) said:
“Mawlana Qasim Nanotwi (rahmatullahi alayhi) once saw a Hindu street-cleaner that he knew, taking a stroll in Jannah in his dream. He asked him in the dream,
“O Lala Jee, how have you entered Jannah?”
The Hindu man answered, “At the time of death, I uttered that phrase…”
Notice that he is referring to the kalimah as “that phrase” due to the fact that for a Hindu, the kalimah is a phrase that must never be mentioned. But Allah granted him the tawfeeq (guidance) of uttering it before his death. His whole life he had been worshipping idols and statues, but in the end, he was blessed with imaan (true faith).
This is the why having hatred in the heart for a disbeliever is haraam (completely forbidden). Because we do not know what a person’s end will be upon.
Mawlana Rumi (rahmatullahi alayhi) said,
“Do not ever look at any non-believer with hate,
Because there is still hope for him to become a believer!
Do not consider any non-believer as low and inferior. Do not look at him with the eye of scorn. It might be that his end has been written to be amongst the believers. And in relation to oneself one should always meditate on the fact that it could possibly be that my end might be upon disbelief. We pray that Allah save us all and allow us to pass away in a state of imaan.”
Hayat-e-Taqwa; pg. 24
One of the most deadly spiritual diseases is the disease of kibr (looking down upon others and rejection of truth). The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Anyone who has an atom’s weight of kibr in his heart will not enter Jannah.”
Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani elaborates on this issue in quite depth:
“The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “That person who taunts and ridicules his Muslim brother over a sin from which he has repented, will not die until he himself commits that same sin.”
…Remember! Abhorrence should be for the sin and not the sinner! Hatred should be for sins. Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) did not teach us to despise those who sin.
On the other hand, the sinner is worthy of pity and compassion, for this distressed person has been overtaken by a sickness. If a person is overtaken by a physical sickness, do you abhor his sickness or the person who is sick? Does the sick person become the target of your hatred? Obviously, the sick person is not deserving of your hatred. Yes, despise his sickness. Concern yourself with removing his sickness, so make du’a. The sick person should not be the target of hatred. He should be pitied for the reason that this poor person is caught up in a difficulty.
If someone is a non-believer then despise his kufr (act of disbelief), do not despise him. Make du’a for him that Allah Most High grants him guidance. Amin. How much did the non-believers not persecute the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace)? They shot at him with arrows, they pelted stones at him, and his body bled from various places, but the words that flowed from his mouth were the following: “O Allah! Grant my people guidance, for they do not know the reality” (of this din).
Take note that that he did not despise them because of their kufr, shirk (associating partners with Allah), oppression and transgressions. Rather, while expressing pity and affection, he made du’a for them that ‘O Allah! These people are ignorant. They are unaware of the reality; therefore they are treating me in this manner. O Allah! Grant them guidance’.
So when seeing someone involved in sin, have pity on him and make du’a (prayers) for him and try to steer him away from sin. Advise and counsel him but do not think low of him. Perhaps Allah accepts his repentance and he surpasses you in the sight of Allah.
I have heard the following words of advice of Hakim al-Ummah Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi from my respected father, Mufti Muhammad Shafi’ and ‘Arif Billah Dr. Abdul Hayy ‘Arifi (may Allah have mercy on them): “I consider every current Muslim and every non Muslim, as far as the future is concerned to be superior to me.” “As far as the future is concerned” means that although the person is presently in the condition of kufr, maybe Allah Most High grants him the tawfiq (guidance) of repenting and he is freed from the burden of kufr. Thereafter, Allah Most High raises his status so high that he surpasses me!
“Every current Muslim” means that a person who is a Muslim, a person of iman (true faith), one whom Allah Most High has granted the wealth of iman. What do I know regarding his connection and status with Allah Most High? Every person’s relationship with Allah Most High is unique. How can we judge anyone? Therefore, I consider every Muslim to be superior to me.
In this statement of Hakim al-Ummah, “I consider every Muslim to be superior to me”, there is obviously no possibility of lies and deception, or that he just said it out of moral courtesy. He said it because he firmly believed it. Anyway, to think low of someone, even though it is due to his committing of sin, is not permissible.
This malady of regarding others with contempt is found mostly in people who have reformed and turned towards din (Islam). They were not concerned with din previously but now have changed and became steadfast on salah and fasting. They have made their dressing and appearance in conformity with the Shari’ah. They have started frequenting the masjid. They have become regular in performing salah with congregation. Satan induces such a person with this thought that you are now on the straight path. These people who are involved in sin are ruined. The result of this thought is that he starts thinking low of them and treats them with contempt. He now starts criticizing them in a hurtful manner. This results in Satan involving such people in vanity, self-regard and pride. When a person suffers from self-regard and pride, all his good actions are destroyed.
When a person’s gaze falls on himself that he is pious and others are bad then he is caught up in vanity. Vanity causes all good actions to become worthless. Only that action is acceptable which is done with sincerity for Allah Most High alone. After performing the action the person makes shukr (gives thanks) unto Allah Most High that He granted me the tawfiq (ability) to perform this action (if He did not grant me the tawfiq (ability), I would never have been able to carry out this action).
Therefore, do not treat anyone with contempt. Do not think low of any non-Muslim or any sinner.
…It should be known that those who are presently involved in sin and you consider them low and worthy of contempt may later on receive the tawfiq (ability & guidance) of repentance and surpass you! So for what reason are you boasting? If you have been granted the tawfiq (ability) of abstaining from sin then make shukr unto Allah Most High. If they haven’t as yet received the tawfiq (ability), then make du’a for them that Allah Most High grants them guidance and grants them relief from their afflictions. Amin.
Anyway, despise kufr, despise sin and transgression, but do not despise the person. In fact, you should treat him with love and kindness. When you speak to him, speak with softness and affection. Speak with feeling and love so that it may have a good effect on him. This was always the method of all our pious elders.
Anyway, the pious servants of Allah do not despise people but despise the evils perpetrated by them. They (the pious) go to the extent of saying that if an evil person has any good qualities in him then those good qualities should be striven for! Concern yourself with trying to remove the bad qualities in a person by speaking to him with love and affection. Speak only to him and do not speak to others about him.
It is mentioned in a hadith: “A believer (mu’min) is a mirror to another believer” (Abu Dawud). If a person has a spot on his face and stands in front of a mirror, the mirror will reflect that spot on his face. The mirror is showing him his defects. In the same way, a believer is also a mirror to another believer. When a believer sees another with a defect, he should inform him with love and affection that you have this certain weakness in you, remove it.
It is just like when a person has a worm or any insect crawling on him, then out of concern you inform him that there is an insect crawling on him, so remove it. Similarly, if a Muslim brother has a dini defect in him, then with love and affection, inform him that he has this defect in him, because a believer is a mirror to another believer.
Mawlana Ashraf ‘Ali Thanawi says that this hadith teaches us that when you see a fault in another person, then inform only that person of this fault, do not tell it to others. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) compared a believer to a mirror. The mirror only exposes the spot on the face to the person standing in front of it and not to others.
Thus, the duty of a believer is to inform the person involved that he has a certain weakness in him and not to inform others of his weakness. If a person also tells others then it implies that he has acted upon his own evil desires and this will not be an act of din anymore. If he only informs and advises the afflicted person with love and concern, then this is what iman (true faith) and brotherhood demands. But to despise or think low of him is not permissible under any circumstance.”
May Allah Most High grant us the understanding and the guidance to practice on this. Amin.